UPDATES UPDATES UPDATES

Oh my goodness, where do I begin?  Yes, I did indeed fall off the face of the earth for a while, but behold, we are back with lots and lots to say. 

Maddie is growing into a wonderful teenager, full of live and vitality.  Diabetes cannot stop her!  She got through the tween and very early teen  years and we all survived....barely. :)  She is now approaching 15 and is a freshman in high school.  WHAT?!?  Yes, she will be driving in the near distant future.  Why can't we just stop time and keep them little?!?

Something that has become a big deal around our house is running.  Maddie knows that in order to stay healthy as she gets older, she has to exercise and eat well.  She has become a member of the varsity cross country team at her school.  She just competed in her first meet the other day, and might I say that she did exceptionally well for a 14 year old newcomer to the team and WITH DIABETES.  She checks her blood sugar and makes sure that she has glucose tablets within grabbing distance, just in case she gets low.  Her school nurse, athletic trainer and coach are on top of it with making sure she is okay to run each day/practice/meet.  She stays hydrated and makes sure that she is ready to go by the end of the school day.  I am so immensely proud of her.

One little accomplishment at a time is very satisfying when you are trying to train someone to be responsible for their own health.  I still have to remind her to check and correct after meals and a LOT on the weekends, but she is showing her true independence by taking care of herself and her diabetes while running a 5k every single day.  I'd say that deserves a little pat on the back.      

EOGs

I am not a good test-taker.  Unfortunately, I've passed this wonderful trait onto Maddie.  Last year was her first year back in school after being home schooled for 2 years.  It was 5th grade, so it wasn't very difficult for her to pass her EOGs.

This year, she was in a school that is JUST the 6th grade.  The teachers are wonderful, she was well taken care of, and the school year has been a great one for her.  I am confidant that she will do well on her tests this year.

But I'm wondering as the school years get harder and harder, if she'll have problems with her blood sugar before a test being elevated, therefor influencing her test results.  Whenever she is preparing for a trip or an important event, she gets crazy from anxiety and anticipation (who doesn't) and her sugars sky rocket.  Never fails.  I know there are things I can do as a mom to make it easier on her, such as getting permission to take the test in a manner that is more suitable for someone who's state is altered by anxiety/anticipation.  Aren't there laws about that? That's a good question for our Endo.

The problem is that Maddie gets embarrassed easily, and the biggest deal is being embarrassed about something that has to do with her blood sugar, insulin, pump, etc.  Being embarrassed ALSO makes her blood sugar sky rocket.  I'm not sure if it would be better to take her out of the classroom, or leave her in.  I'm not sure which scenario would be better in her mind.  So, really, there's no way to win in this situation. I'm curious as to what other moms do in these situations.  How do you handle tests, and times when blood sugar will be a factor in your child's performance for something so important as an end of grade test?

I guess it's a good thing for Maddie that I haven't had to worry about this up until this point in time.  But I guess it's a bad thing that I don't know the answers to these questions....

OK, I'm off to google this stuff......

The Art of Forgetfulness

 Maddie is a talented girl.  I am often amazed at the things that she knows, and is capable of doing, and doing well, at the age of 12. Among other things, she is smart, witty, and super funny. She has a hint of sarcasm, but fortunately, she only uses it in humorous situations.  Oh, and most importantly, she has an impeccable memory....when it has to do with ANYTHING besides her diabetes.  With that, she is struck with an early onset severe memory disorder. 

"Did you check your blood sugar before lunch?"

"Ooohhhh...I forgot."

"Did you correct for your spaghetti like I asked you to?"

"Oops--I forgot."

"Don't forget to correct for that snack!"

{Hours later} "Uh oh....I forgot."

"Your blood sugar is a little too high right now.  Save that candy for when it comes down."

"Aww man--I forgot!"

I thought this kind of memory loss is supposed to be saved for women after they've had children.  I understand that she hates that she has to always deal with this stupid diabetes, but I would think that it would be automatic by this point.

It's weird--she can't remember anything that has to do with diabetes and carbs and insulin, but she doesn't seem to forget where her iPod is, or how much chore money she's owed, or that last Friday I told her I would get her favorite snack at the grocery store next time I went, or that I told her she could occasionally stay up until 11pm on some school nights (whaaaat?!?) or that 5 weeks ago, I promised her that I'd take her to Aeropostale at 2:30pm next Saturday (really?).....

The Arrival

It's here.  Finally.  It's like Christmas came a little early this year.  After 7 months, 20 days, and 6 hours, I heard the doorbell ring.  There were tons of screams and giggles, (ok, ok...it was just me) as Shawn opened the door. 

There he was.  Dressed in his polyester blue shorts. He was beautiful. Older, yet distinguished, and wise. I loved him. And I loved what he brought me. 

"Howdy, Ma'am." he said.  There it was, in his wrinkly hands. I had to catch my breath when I saw it for the first time.

"Hey there! Where do I sign?" is all I managed to get out.  I couldn't wait for his response. I snatched it and ran for my set of dull knives, grabbing the sharpest one, leaving Shawn to deal with him. My heart was beating so fast.  My breath was quick and shallow.

I slit every piece of tape across that box.  I ripped that sucker open like I was performing emergency surgery.  As my knife was flying around violently, I noticed what it said in the Return Address area.

MEDTRONIC

Oh, the word is such a beautiful one. As I held back my tears of excitement, I saw the tiny box inside, covered in shrink wrap.

MEDTRONIC REVEL

Here it is! Here it is! Here it is!

"MADDIE--GET DOWN HERE!!!!"

Together, she and I scratched at the plastic shrink wrap like 2 little mice trying to get through a piece of sheet rock. Suddenly, she was the competition, seeing who could get the box opened first. 

"Mama, let me see!"

"Maddie- get off of it!" Oh my, I had forgotten who I was, out of sheer excitement.

She put her hand over mine to try to get the box away from me.

"Maddie- STOP!" Yes, I am ashamed--I had lost all self control at this point.

As soon as I finished pushing Maddie to the ground, (totally kidding) I got the box opened.  We heard the angels singing on our behalf. I was completely unaware of what was going on around me. At this point, all that was in existence was Maddie, me, and the brand new, beautiful, blue Revel pump.

We both gasped at the same time.

"Oh, it's so pretty!" she sighed.

"Yes. Yes, it is." I muttered as I held back my tears of joy.

You Can Lead a Horse to Water....

I pride myself on being on top of Maddie's diabetes, for the most part. The only
times I'm not is when things are chaotic, I'm putting out fires, fixing or
cleaning up from a meal, and she runs off to her room. (Another time I'm not on
top of it is when she goes somewhere without me, Shawn or my mom, all the while
PROMISING to check her blood sugar, and correct for it, and for her food.) But
I'd say that 95% of the time, I'm on top of it.

So now that she's 12, and thinks she's 25, our conversations go something like
this:

"Maddie- correct for your blood sugar, and bolus for 60 carbs."

{Silence}

"Maddie! Correct for your blood sugar and 60 carbs!"

"Ok."

{30 seconds go by....}

"Did you correct?"

"I'm getting ready to."

{30 more seconds go by....}

"Did you do it?"

"Mama, I'm really getting ready to!"

"Do it now."

{silence}

"Maddie, I'm waiting...."

"Ok. Correct for my blood sugar and 60 carbs" as she runs up the stairs.

"Don't forget!"

"I won't. I'm doing it now!"

Fast forward 2 hours.

"Maddie, did you correct?"

"Umm...."

"Check your blood sugar NOW!!"

At this point, she is usually very high, and you know how this story ends....

I wonder why I have to ask her to do it so MANY times, (the pump is attached to her body, so she doesn't have to go far to get it,) yet she forgets to correct. I know the years ahead are going to be hard, but I'm not sure I can handle the teenage years AND diabetes. I am trying to instill in her that SHE controls her diabetes and SHE controls her health, therefore SHE controls how she feels throughout the day.  I want her life to be "normal" and I absolutely hate that she has to deal with this stupid disease every hour of the day. 

Middle School

It's been a while since I've posted anything. I could say that "life has been busy" but isn't that true all the time?

Well, Maddie started middle school this year. The big 6th grade. Isn't that just the worst grade for everyone? Does anyone really ever say, "Wow...6th grade was the year for me. Those were the days...." I don't think so. Usually, those years are known as being the awkward years. The in-between years. Not fun, and usually not pretty.

Before the school year started, I called the school nurse to set up a time to meet with her and the core teachers.  (Just as a quick note--I did the same thing last year, when she was at the elementary school, and I met with the principal, the teacher, and the teacher's assistant.  Period.  That's IT. No nurse or PE teacher.)

I showed up for the meeting about 15 minutes early, and sat down in the huge classroom where we were supposed to meet--just the 5 of us.  In came the first core teacher, then the second core teacher, then the third core teacher, and finally the nurse.  Ok, so I think we're going to start.  Until her PE teacher marches in.  Oh--ok.  Good idea--the PE teacher needs to hear all of this.  Lo and behold--here comes the band teacher, and then the art teacher, then the librarian, (whom I learn is the diabetes "go to gal"). Then the teacher (that Maddie doesn't have) that is type 1 and wears a pump, then the Section 504 lady, then the substitute nurse, and finally, the principal.

Holy diabetes, Batman! I thought it was cool last year when we met in the shoebox size Principal's office at the elementary school with BOTH the teacher, and her assistant.  This was cray-cray!

So, here I am, with super-shy Maddie, sitting in front of 12 people I don't know, getting ready to make a corporate-like presentation. Yikes! But, I got through it.  They asked what seemed like hundreds of questions, and I answered them, along with about a dozen "what if" situations.  They told me what equipment they'd like to keep on hand at the school, and what they would do about her checking her blood inconspicuously.

I walked away that day very confident that she would be well taken care of.  This was about 4 months ago, and so far, so good. Maybe Hopefully This is going to be a great year!

Talent Show

Our church had a talent show--Maddie (age 9) chose to sing "Mighty To Save". The camera shaking is me trying not to ball my eyes out. I was and am SO proud of her!!! She is so much more brave than I am.

4th of July

Maddie was asked by our music minister to sing this on Sunday July 4, 2010. We should always remember to thank those who serve our country.

Celiac

NEGATIVE RESULTS FOR CELIAC DISEASE! Yay!!!

Whew~


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Should I, or Shouldn't I?

Every time I see a child who has to use the bathroom constantly, I always think, "I bet she has diabetes, and they need to get her checked....." But I'm not bold enough to go up to the parent and scare the living daylights out of them.

Although, I would have appreciated it if someone would have said, "Your daughter is almost 6 years old and wearing a size 2T. And she's wetting the bed, when she's never done that, even when she was potty training. And she drinks constantly, and goes to the bathroom constantly. And her eyes are sort of sunken in. You should probably get her checked for diabetes."

There's a little girl on Reilly's soccer team that is 4 years old, and has to go to the bathroom probably every 10 minutes. I know this because my husband coaches the team, and she'll run off the field, mid game, and have to run to the port-a-john, leaving him wondering why they are 1 kid short on the field.

Last Saturday, as I watched her go back and forth and back and forth with her mom, I almost suggested that they get her checked for diabetes. Or better yet, say, "I've got a glucometer in my purse--let me check her blood sugar, and give you a heart attack at the same time!"

But, I didn't. And for the rest of the day, I couldn't help but wonder if she really does have it, and should I have suggested it to her parents.

I mean, come on--if anyone knows the signs of high blood sugar, it's the mother of a diabetic, right? I'm not sure what to do next Saturday. I wouldn't want this family to find out in an emergency room, or get a phone call that the little girl has passed out at school. But I also don't want to blurt out, "I'LL BET SHE HAS DIABETES--AN AWFUL DISEASE THAT SHE'LL HAVE FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE--AND ALSO ONE THAT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE VERY DIFFICULT! YOU SHOULD HAVE HER CHECKED FOR IT!"

I'm always quick to tell my friends and acquaintances what Maddie's symptoms were, just in case their child may show symptoms, and maybe they should get them checked. The sooner the better is what I believe. It's better than getting a shocking phone call, right?

Hhmmm.....what to do....what to do.....

Oh No--I'm Bleeding!!

I look tired all the time. This would be because I stay up until around 2 am, in order to check Maddie as late as I possible can, (hence the LATE night blog entries).

I do this for 2 reasons-- 1) I don't trust that the blood sugar reading before bed was on it's way up, or on it's way down, therefore causing her to crash in the middle of the night, and 2) I don't trust Maddie's pump. I spent 2 years controlling the insulin through shots, and now that I don't have to do that, I can't believe that a little $7,000 pump can figure out what my brain has been trained to do.

Anyway, every night, I go into her room and do the same routine. Every night. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I always scoot her skinny legs out of the way, set her meter on her little tummy, watching it rise and fall as she breathes, then I put the strip in the meter, get the lancet ready, get her ring finger (because that the one SHE uses the least throughout the day,) and then stick her and put her blood on the strip.

As I wait for the reading, which takes about 4 or 5 seconds, I'll wipe off her blood so that she doesn't accidentally get it on her bedding while she sleeps. Then I either correct her, or give her tablets, or hopefully do nothing, and leave her room.

At this point, I always go straight into my bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. But the funny thing is, that almost every night, I have blood on either my first finger, or my thumb, depending on which way I was balancing the meter while I was wiping off her finger. And almost every night seeing the dried blood on my hand startles me.

I don't know why I do this--I do it almost every night. I'm not afraid of blood, or anything like that, it's just that as an adult, if I'm ever bleeding, I usually know about it. But EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, it's there, and it always startles me. My first reaction is always, "Oh no! I've got blood on my hand! What have I done to myself?" Then almost immediately I realize that it's Maddie's blood, and I wash my hands.

It's become a habit that as I wash my hands, almost every night, at 2:00 in the morning, I think to myself that it's sad that I've got my daughter's blood on my hands almost every night. That should not be allowed. I shouldn't have to poke and prod my child to draw blood as she sleeps. No one should have to do that. It's just not fair. Just another reason that I hate diabetes.....

The Dreaded Appointment

Every other month we see our endo, and on the way there, I dread finding out what Maddie's A1C is. This time was no different. Alas, the A1C machine (don't know what it's called) beeped, so I asked. She had gone from 8.5 to 8.7. Although I was glad she wasn't in the 9's, going UP was not the direction that I was hoping to have gone.

I allow Maddie to be a little higher at night, or I don't give her the complete correction, because I have this eminent fear that she will crash during the night, and not wake up. Because whatever the number is, I don't know if it's going up, or down at a rapid pace.  (We do not have the CGM at this point in time.) This is my problem--she's too high during the night and first thing in the morning. And it's all my fault. I've come to grips with this. I take full responsibility.

I HATE DEALING WITH THIS STUPID DISEASE.

In addition to screwing up her A1C, her height and weight has gone from the 50th percentile, to the 25th percentile over the last year. Yeah, I know--I'm such a great mom.....not. My child is shrinking. Well, actually, she's not shrinking, she's just not growing.

I HATE DIABETES!!!

"But she's picky!" and "She isn't hungry much of the time!" and "She eats healthy food MOST of the time, so she's probably not getting enough calories!" These were my ignorant and useless justifications for my reprimanding from the doctor. Basically, she's not eating ENOUGH, therefor, not getting enough insulin. Could this be any more difficult to grasp in my little blonde brain?

Everytime I read other type 1 moms' blogs, I learn something new--like how the humidity can alter blood sugars, or how allergies to pollen can send you through the roof. Will I ever get the hang of this? I mean, come on, people--you would think that after almost 5 years, I would have gotten the hang of this by now.

Nope. Did I mention that I hate this stupid disease?

The "S" Word

As adults, we find ourselves saying words that aren't really a big deal, when coming out of the mouths of adults.

"This outfit looks like crap on me" or "Shut up! That is TOO funny!" or "Trust me, I felt SO stupid!" or "Eww--I HATE anchovies!"

But as you have children, and you continue to say these "bad" words, you realize that out of all the thousands of words your child hears everyday, they will only repeat the things that you DON'T want them to repeat, and words that sound rather inappropriate coming out of a child's mouth.

I'll never forget when Maddie was in her "Terrible Two's" (before she was diagnosed) she picked up on our (incidentally, I place equal blame on my husband) use of these "bad" words, which were only ever used in a casual, non-threatening way.

"I hate my hair! Please tell me if it looks stupid!"

"Can you believe I put on 2 different socks?!? I just realized how stupid it looks. The lighting in this closet is so crappy!"

"I can't get this stupid can opener to work!!!" (Can I get an Amen on that one ladies? Does anyone REALLY have a can opener that actually works??)

Anyhoo, we learned very quickly that stupid, crap, hate, and shut up, although mostly used in jest, and not EVER used to hurt anyone's feelings, or to be mean, were words that we could not say in front of Maddie.

Fast forward 7 years and 2 more children, and still, I feel a sense of sudden regret when I slice my finger open, and let a "crap" slip, or see an advertisement for a pole dancing exercise DVD on TV, and say that it's "stupid" under my breath, only to be reminded by my 5 year old that "Ooooh--mama said a bad word!" knowing good and well that those will be the first 6 words out of his mouth when my husband gets home, or as soon as he walks into my parents' house for a visit.

Embarrassed, I always explain that while it IS a "bad" word, sometimes grown-ups use it, but not in a mean way, and when he is 35, he can use those words as much as he'd like. But not before then.

One morning recently, after we had been up all night checking blood and ketones, and eventually changing her site, Maddie and I, both VERY tired from the night before, were working on her schoolwork. The house was quiet, she was almost through, and she stopped and put her pencil down.

As we both happened to yawn at the same time, she said, "Mama, can I say a bad word?"

"Um....". What is the correct answer to that question?!?

"Just this one time while Reilly and Brendan aren't around."

Stunned, and before I could answer, she screamed, "Diabetes is STUPID, and I HATE it! It's nothing but CRAP!" And then she just looked at me, waiting fir my reaction.

After blurting out all of those obscenities, she still looked tired, but she had a slight sense of relief on her sweet little face. I have to admit, those words do sound far worse coming out of a sweet little 9 year-old, innocent mouth.

She sheepishly waited for me to scowl, or to reprimand her.

After all, she was simply stating the truth about something that we have to fight every day. Something that rules her life and interrupts everything she does. Something that NOT ONE of her friends has to deal with. Something that makes her different. Something that is unfair and tries to defeat her every minute of the day.

So obviously, I smiled wide, and proudly said, "Maddie, I couldn't agree with you more!"


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Whew

So sorry, fellow blog followers.  November and December have been very busy months.  As far as numbers, Maddie's been up and down, but her A1C went from 8.5 to 8.3 in 3 months.  That's a start.  I wish it were back to 7.9 when she started 2nd grade, but I'll take anything that's headed downward.  I'll start back up with my much needed and much loved blog time as soon as our schedules get back to normal, and Shawn and Reilly go back to school.  At least that's my intention....
: )

I'm Starving!!

If you have read my post about homeschooling Maddie, you'll know that I do enjoy eating my words.  Today I was starving!

This time instead of being about homeschooling, it is about insurance, since ironically that was the frustrating topic of my last post.

My husband came home from work a month or two ago and announced that they were getting new insurance at his job.  That always makes me cringe because I'm always fearful that someone somewhere is going to deny Maddie coverage, even though I know that they can't do that on a group plan.  I also cringe because the amount we pay per month for our family to have insurance, (even though Shawn is free) is almost like another house payment.

Today was the first time I went to get Maddie's testing strips since our new insurance went into effect.  They used to cost us $70, just for that one prescription, just for that one month.  Today, I found out that our prescription co-pay is not $70 anymore, it's $10!!  This is where I started eating my words, once again.

This was the conversation in the pharmacy drive-thru between myself and the pharmacist.

"That will be $10."

"WHAAAAAAT?"  This is the part where I had to physically pick up my lower jaw and put it back into place.
 
"I said, that will be $10 for your daughter's testing strips."  She was not nearly as excited as I was at that point. 

"Nuh-uh!"

"Uh-huh."

"No way!"

"Um, yes way, ma'am."

"You're kidding me, right?"

"No, ma'am, I'm not kidding."

"OH.......MY.........GOODNESS......she just said it would be $10," I sometimes yell at my steering wheel.

The poor pharmacist had been hunched over at the microphone for several minutes waiting for me to get my act together, and my kids were scared, silent and wide-eyed in the back of the van watching my entire "freak-out" episode.

"Ma'am, I have customers waiting inside the store.  Are you going to pay for this today?"

See, for this pharmacist, it was just an everyday, run of the mill, prescription refill.  But for me, it was an answer to prayer in a desperate time of need.

.....The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective.  James 5:16 

Reply

I just wanted to write a quick post to reply to a comment that someone made on one of my older posts.  I don't know the commentor, but I am very glad that she found my blog and read it.  That really means a lot to me.  The more we know about the stuggles people have with diabetes, the closer we'll be to finding a cure.

I think she misunderstood the title of my blog, which is "A Beautiful Diabetic".  She wrote:   

"It is sad that you identify your daughter as diabetic.
It should be....My Beautiful daughter is Maddie. She is 9 and she's smart, talented, full of life, and hilarious, all rolled up into one precious little body. o yeah she is diabetic.
Diabetic is not who she is."

You're right--a diabetic is not who she is.  And just so you know, I don't really 'identify' her as diabetic.  The reason I called my blog "A Beautiful Diabetic" is because I want people to know about this disease, and how it affects children and families on a realistic daily basis.

I could have called it ":My Beautiful Maddie" and that would have been a wonderful title, but for me, I want to reach out to that one mother, who sits in despair at her computer, googling diabetes because her child was just diagnosed.  I want her to know that my diabetic child lives a normal, fun-filled, yet sometimes treacherous life.  This disease is a fight that we are going to win, and that is the point of my blog.

Another reason for writing my blog, mostly about diabetes, is because there is a huge community out there of families with children who have the disease.  Personally, I value those other moms who have that in common with me, and who also have blogs about their diabetic kids.  I look to them for support, and questions when necessary.

But, thank you, friend, for caring enough to leave a comment on my blog.  I sincerely appreciate your input.  But don't be sad~  I don't identify Maddie as a diabetic.  It's just a creative title that is intended to catch the eye of someone who is struggling with the same thing. 

Germs, Stools, and Flu Shots

Today was Reilly's 5 year-old check up.  No biggie, right?  Oh, it was a biggie.  Having Maddie around all the time means she gets the privilege of accompanying me everywhere I go.  Being that Brendan is 2, he also gets to enjoy that privilege.  My mom has the privelege of being able to help me out when I need it, and today, I needed it.

It was a perfect plan in my head.  Pick up Reilly at 12, get the kids lunch, eat in the car, meet my mom at the doctor's office, Mom, Maddie and Brendan watch a movie in the car with the windows down (it was a beautiful day) while Reilly and I run in and see the doctor.

At about 11:55, as I was on my way to the school, my phone rings.  It was Shawn telling me to see if I could get Maddie and Brendan in to get flu shots while I was at the doctor's office, so we wouldn't have to make 2 trips.  Yeah, easy for him to say--he was sitting in a quiet room with a bunch of well behaved teenagers who were not angst ridden about getting shots in their arms.  So, I agreed, called the doctor's office to see if I was able to do it, and hence began the whining and complaining.  The nurse said that they didn't get the nasal mist this year.  Just the shots.  That's just great. 

I have to admit, I'm a worrier.  I also have severe anxiety when it comes to knowing I'm going to endure something painful or uncomfortable.  For instance, I find it almost impossible to get a glaucoma test.  I can't stick my head in a contraption knowing good and well that this contraption is going to blow air on my eye balls.  I just can't do it.  If I keep my head in it, then I inevitably close my eyes at the exact moment the air puff blows.  It's the suspence of knowing that it's going to happen.  I also can't stand the eye ball numbing drops.  Because I know that I can't feel my eye balls, and that bothers me.  But, alas, I can endure a flu shot.  So, Maddie has this worry/anxiety thing that she picked up from her mother.  I just choose to worry about more important things, like puffs of air....

Anyhoo, for the next hour and a half, I had to listen to things like, "Do they have to give the shot to me?" and "You're going to have to pay money for me to get the shot, and I don't want you spending your money on me." and "I just really feel like I'm not going to get the flu, so can I just skip the shot?"  All of this coming from the person who has taken thousands of shots, thousands of finger pricks, and hundreds of needles and tiny tubes in her back side. 

Normally I'm not a germ-o-phobe, but the swine flu scare has sent me into sort of a panic because it could be much more dangerous for a child with a chronic illness, than an otherwise healthy child.  I spent the 15 minutes in the waiting room with Reilly applying the provided hand sanitizer and kindly reminding him not to touch anything or put his hands near his face.

Everything was going smoothly until they called Reilly's name to "come on back" and told me that the other 2 kids should come back, too.  It wasn't going to take long for his check up, then they would all get the shots.  The nurse took Reilly to weigh him, and I ran out to the car to get Mom, Maddie and Brendan.  I could tell it wasn't going to be pretty when Maddie walked down the hall with tears in her eyes.

All 5 of us get escorted into a tiny and very warm examination room.  As usual, immediately 3 things start to happen simultaneously.  Reilly, who is sitting on the table in his Spiderman boxer briefs, starts talking about something, in which to demonstrate meant he had to put his entire hands in his mouth, and when asked not to do that, immediately rubs his eyes with the previous saliva/germ covered hands.  Maddie is quietly crying in anticipation on the floor, with her blood sugar soaring by this point.  Brendan is running full speed back and forth in this 5x8 square foot room, in which there are 2 chairs, a stool, a desk, the paper covered examination table, and five people.

So being the worn out and frazzled mother that I am, I first asked him to stop (knowing full and well that he wouldn't have any part of that) then I put him in "time out" which consisted of the high stool that I knew he couldn't get down from.  Now at this point I am sweating, both from the heat of the room, and from the disposition of all 3 of my kids.  The sweet nurse sticks her head into our room and says, "I'm just putting the SIX  NEEDLES for the kids' SHOTS in the bin on the door.  I didn't want you to think someone was knocking on the door."  Yeah, thanks.  Way to bring it up.  Now everyone has a precise mental picture. 

You can always tell when the doctor is about to come into your room because you can hear the papers being shifted around as they look through your chart really quickly to know what's going on with you.  As I heard Reilly's papers being shifted, the door knob was turning, and I look over at Brendan and he is in mid air.  He lands on his head with the loudest "bonk" sound that you can imagine.  He didn't land on the side of his head, or his shoulder and head.  He landed flat on the back of his head.  And right as the doctor was opening the door.

So now I have 2 crying kids, and 1 in his underwear, and we haven't even started the check up yet.  A few minutes later, Brendan stops crying only to have a noticable goose egg on his head, but Maddie was still in a fetal position crying, this time on my Mom's lap.  I'm never in the right state of mind to ask questions of the doctor at my kids' check ups.  I'm always trying to keep people from crying, and I'm always sweating from the stress of having a doctor talk to me about my child, but not really listening because someone is inevitably acting up.

When it was shot time, Maddie went first, and started hyperventalating.  When the doctor got her calmed down, she gave her the shot.  It was somewhat remeniscent of the first time I gave Maddie a shot of insulin, but not quite as ear-piercing.  Of course, she looked right at the needle and started screaming, not to cease for probably a minute or two.  Fortunately, my mom had a good grip on her.  I had visions of the letters "HI" on her meter.  Stress and anxiety causes her blood sugar to go sky high, and this was definitely stress and anxiety for her, and for me. 

Unfortunately, Reilly received his kindergarten shots, so he got 4 shots instead of 1.  I heard him say things that I hadn't ever heard him say before.  "Get me away from her!" and "This has got to stop now!" and "I can't believe you're letting her do this to me!"  It was quite unsettling for me.  The worst part is having to hold them down so they can't move, except for turning their heads to see the 4 inch long needles.

Then it was Brendan's turn.  He was sleepy, and sweaty, and had a huge bump on his head.  I set him up on the table and she gave him his flu shot.  He didn't wince, he didn't cry, and he didn't even change his sweet expression from a blank look.  He just sat there and got his shot, and watched the whole time.  I think God gave me him to help my calm my anxious nerves and give me a periodic breath of fresh air in my stress filled life.

When we got out to the car, Maddie checked her blood and she was in the 500's.  That figures.....but at least she won't get the flu!  

   

Hashimoto's Disease

This was copied from www.familydoctor.org

Hashimoto’s Disease

Hashimoto's disease is a problem with your thyroid gland located in your neck. The thyroid gland makes hormones that control how your body uses energy. When you have Hashimoto's disease, your immune system begins to attack your thyroid gland, causing it to become swollen and irritated. When this happens, your thyroid can't make hormones as it should.

Diabetes Makes You Prettier

Something that's a big deal to me is making sure my kids have good self esteem and a positive self image.  From the day they could understand me, I have told them how handsome and beautiful they are.  I'm always telling Reilly (my 5 year old son) what big muscles he has, and what a great soccer player he is.  Maddie has always been told how beautiful she is, and how smart and creative she is.  I think we all need a little encouragement every now and then. 

Ok, so this whole diabetes thing did a number on Maddie.  From the time she was diagnosed at the age of 5, she has experienced a touch of depression, embarrassment, anxiety, and so many other negative feelings that sometimes accompany the diagnosis of a chronic disease.  I can't say that I know how she feels.  Because I don't.  I don't have diabetes.  I don't have to check my blood in front of my peers.  I don't have people asking me if I feel low.  I don't have friends that tell me I can't eat something.

So from the very day she was diagnosed, I have told Maddie that diabetes makes her prettier.  Because I believe it does.  I tell her that there's no way in the world that she would have been this pretty if she didn't have diabetes.

I tell her it does something to her hair and skin.  I tell her that it makes her eyes a brighter green.  It makes her skin a more beautiful shade of tan.  It gives her eyelashes a tiny bit of extra length.  It puts beautiful blond highlights around her face.  It makes her teeth a little whiter and straighter.  It makes her voice sweeter and softer.  It makes her prettier.  Because I think it does.

My dad has said something to Maddie since she was a year old.  He has said it to her ever since then, and he says it quite frequently.

"Maddie, come here to your Grampa."  Maddie is the only granddaughter of 6 grandchildren.  She has her Grampa wrapped around her finger.  It is not uncommon after she is told "no" to hear her mumble under her breath, "Well, Grampa will get it for me."

Maddie walks over to my dad's open embrace, as he puts his face right up to hers, so as to tell her a secret.  "I have a pretty important question to ask you."

"What is it, Grampa?"  She always acts like she doesn't have any idea what he's going to say.

My dad gets this serious look on his face and asks her the same question every time.  "How did you get so pretty in just 8 years?"  He inserts her current age at that moment.  He is usually tickling her, or hugging her by this point.  She just laughs and shakes her head and tries to get away from his firm grip on her tiny little body.

She manages to get "I don't know" out as he's tickling her and as they're both laughing out loud.  I tried for years to get her to say, "From my mama," but she would never say it.

Now I know how she got that way......it's because diabetes has made her prettier.

Funny, Yet So True

I read this article on a great website: www.juvenation.org

It is funny, but at the same time, it shows how little people know about diabetes. According to www.JDRF.org as many as 3 million Americans may have Type 1 Diabetes, and each year more than 15,000 children are diagnosed with diabetes in the U.S. That's 40 children per day. Scary....

Anyhoo, Maddie and I read this together, and we had a couple of good laughs....

STUPID THINGS PEOPLE SAY
A constant source of frustration for people with type 1 diabetes is annoying questions or comments from well-meaning but ill-informed people. Here are some of our favorites:

"Does it hurt?"
Of course poking myself with a needle hurts sometimes, and you never really get used to it no matter how long you have had diabetes.

"You can't eat that--You have diabetes!"
I know what I can and can't eat! Limiting sweets can help me keep my blood sugar under control, but as long as I adjust my insulin, I can eat them just like people without diabetes.

"Do you think you should eat something?"
I appreciate your concern, but I've been living with type 1 diabetes for some time now. Unless I've already asked you to watch me for specific symptoms and remind me to eat, I can decide when and what to eat on my own.

"Did you get diabetes because you at too much sugar?"
Eating too much sugar is not a cause of type 1 diabetes. I didn't do anything to cause my diabetes.

"I know all about diabetes, so here's what you need to do...."
Just because you're older than me or have more education doesn't mean you know more than I do about diabetes. I've been living with this disease for many years, so don't you think I know more about it than you?

"You're so skinny, how could you have diabetes?"
Obesity can be a trigger for Type 2 Diabetes, but it has NOTHING to do with type 1.

**my personal favorite**
"I have type 2 diabetes, so I know how you feel."
No, you don't. People with type 2 diabetes may be able to control their disease with diet and exercise alone, or with oral medication. Type 1 diabetics have to inject insulin constantly.

"Insulin can cure diabetes, right?"
Taking insulin keeps people with type 1 diabetes alive, but dies not cure the disease. While progress has been made, there still is no cure for diabetes.

"How come your blood sugar is always too hight or too low? Are you doing something wrong?"
Many factors can easily cause my blood sugars to swing out of control no matter how well I follow my meal plan and insulin schedule. It does not mean I've done something wrong.

Can't you get rid of your diabetes if you just exercise and eat right?"
If I could, don't you think I would have done that by now? Type 1 Diabetes is not caused by a poor diet, obesity, or lack of exercise. Those are factors associated with type 2 diabetes. Exercise and a good diet can help me to better control my type 1 diabetes, but they do not make it go away.


Being that Maddie is a child, with friends who are also children, she gets these questions and ones similar, all the time. She knows that she just needs to explain that her pancreas doesn't work, so her pump takes the place of it. God gives certain people patience for a reason. Maddie has become a very patient little girl.