EOGs

I am not a good test-taker.  Unfortunately, I've passed this wonderful trait onto Maddie.  Last year was her first year back in school after being home schooled for 2 years.  It was 5th grade, so it wasn't very difficult for her to pass her EOGs.

This year, she was in a school that is JUST the 6th grade.  The teachers are wonderful, she was well taken care of, and the school year has been a great one for her.  I am confidant that she will do well on her tests this year.

But I'm wondering as the school years get harder and harder, if she'll have problems with her blood sugar before a test being elevated, therefor influencing her test results.  Whenever she is preparing for a trip or an important event, she gets crazy from anxiety and anticipation (who doesn't) and her sugars sky rocket.  Never fails.  I know there are things I can do as a mom to make it easier on her, such as getting permission to take the test in a manner that is more suitable for someone who's state is altered by anxiety/anticipation.  Aren't there laws about that? That's a good question for our Endo.

The problem is that Maddie gets embarrassed easily, and the biggest deal is being embarrassed about something that has to do with her blood sugar, insulin, pump, etc.  Being embarrassed ALSO makes her blood sugar sky rocket.  I'm not sure if it would be better to take her out of the classroom, or leave her in.  I'm not sure which scenario would be better in her mind.  So, really, there's no way to win in this situation. I'm curious as to what other moms do in these situations.  How do you handle tests, and times when blood sugar will be a factor in your child's performance for something so important as an end of grade test?

I guess it's a good thing for Maddie that I haven't had to worry about this up until this point in time.  But I guess it's a bad thing that I don't know the answers to these questions....

OK, I'm off to google this stuff......

My Love/Hate Relationship

We live very modestly.  Other people that I know have new cars, huge houses, beautiful brand new furniture, shopping sprees every weekend, and lots and lots of stuff. They send messages out on Facebook asking for references for housekeepers. They go on date nights with their spouses, hire $20/hour babysitters, go on extravagant vacations, fly here, fly there, and so on.....

Not us. Nope. We don't buy new cars.  We bought a house further out of town, that I clean BY MYSELF. I don't brag about new furniture--I brag about how long we've had our furniture.  I brag about how little I paid for my groceries, using my coupons. I almost had a panic attack when they closed the Merita Bread Store in town, so now it's back to paying $2 for a loaf of whole wheat (oh- it pains me to even type that). Thanks, Hostess {read with much sarcasm). I try to lump all of my errands together in order to save gas.  I prefer to call it "cheap chic", you know, like "shabby chic"? Except that I try to avoid the shabby part.  But I digress....

Shawn's former employer did not have great benefits, because it was a smaller "business" and medical insurance is very costly. (If you're reading this, and you know us, and you work where he used to work, I'm sorry, but you know you're paying out the nose for blah insurance, although I know it's not the "company's" fault). I considered us to have a love/hate relationship with it.  I loved and appreciated the things that the insurance DID in fact cover, but that wasn't much.  I'm honestly not sure what we were paying for with the $800 per month, other than being able to say, "Yes, I have insurance."  But whatever.....

In the spring of 2008, we got Maddie's first Medtronic Minimed. Our so-called insurance covered 20% of the $6000.00 pump. If you don't have a calculator for a brain, we paid $4800.00 for it. Now, mind you, we have 3 kids, and do not have $4800 just sitting around, so we had to finance it. Completely and thoroughly 1000% worth every penny.  It is Maddie's life-line. It's what keeps her healthy, and for that, I'm very grateful.

This pump's warranty expired April 21st of 2012. Basically, what this means is that if the pump stops working, we are up the creek without a paddle, and back to the 8 shots a day Maddie goes.  If the pump is within warranty, and the teeniest, tiniest thing happens, you'll have a brand new $6000.00 pump brought directly to your door step, or the door step of wherever you happen to be at that moment, the very next morning.  Incidentally, my sister, who also wears the Minimed and lives in NC, was skiing in Colorado a few years back.  Her pump stopped working one afternoon after skiing all day.  One phone call later, and the very next morning, they called her from the front desk of the hotel with a completely brand new pump. That's it.  Period.  Winning~

So we've been going back and forth with the so-called insurance company, with Medronic, and with the finance company to get her new pump for over 7 months.  At one point during the summer, I stopped communicating with them all, and started humbly and reverently praying that her old pump would not stop working. I guess it worked. Lo and behold, it was still working on the day we received the new one, on December 8th, 2012. (Thank you, Lord!)

Recently, Shawn got a new job, with brand new benefits, and "top of the line" medical insurance. It should not be called "medical insurance". It should be called "miracle insurance" because it does indeed perform miracles. 

I stunned my Medtronic rep (and new best friend) when I told him what insurance we had.  He called me back and was in shock. 

"You have the best insurance I've ever seen in all my years at this company."

We received the pump a few days ago.  Our miracle insurance paid for 98% (Yes, I said NINETY EIGHT PERCENT) of the $6000.00 pump, after we send in the old one for a credit. 

After 7 1/2 months of hard core prayer, and a little anxiety mixed in, hoping her pump didn't fail, she is back on track and pumpin' away.  God does perform miracles~

The Arrival

It's here.  Finally.  It's like Christmas came a little early this year.  After 7 months, 20 days, and 6 hours, I heard the doorbell ring.  There were tons of screams and giggles, (ok, ok...it was just me) as Shawn opened the door. 

There he was.  Dressed in his polyester blue shorts. He was beautiful. Older, yet distinguished, and wise. I loved him. And I loved what he brought me. 

"Howdy, Ma'am." he said.  There it was, in his wrinkly hands. I had to catch my breath when I saw it for the first time.

"Hey there! Where do I sign?" is all I managed to get out.  I couldn't wait for his response. I snatched it and ran for my set of dull knives, grabbing the sharpest one, leaving Shawn to deal with him. My heart was beating so fast.  My breath was quick and shallow.

I slit every piece of tape across that box.  I ripped that sucker open like I was performing emergency surgery.  As my knife was flying around violently, I noticed what it said in the Return Address area.

MEDTRONIC

Oh, the word is such a beautiful one. As I held back my tears of excitement, I saw the tiny box inside, covered in shrink wrap.

MEDTRONIC REVEL

Here it is! Here it is! Here it is!

"MADDIE--GET DOWN HERE!!!!"

Together, she and I scratched at the plastic shrink wrap like 2 little mice trying to get through a piece of sheet rock. Suddenly, she was the competition, seeing who could get the box opened first. 

"Mama, let me see!"

"Maddie- get off of it!" Oh my, I had forgotten who I was, out of sheer excitement.

She put her hand over mine to try to get the box away from me.

"Maddie- STOP!" Yes, I am ashamed--I had lost all self control at this point.

As soon as I finished pushing Maddie to the ground, (totally kidding) I got the box opened.  We heard the angels singing on our behalf. I was completely unaware of what was going on around me. At this point, all that was in existence was Maddie, me, and the brand new, beautiful, blue Revel pump.

We both gasped at the same time.

"Oh, it's so pretty!" she sighed.

"Yes. Yes, it is." I muttered as I held back my tears of joy.

You Can Lead a Horse to Water....

I pride myself on being on top of Maddie's diabetes, for the most part. The only
times I'm not is when things are chaotic, I'm putting out fires, fixing or
cleaning up from a meal, and she runs off to her room. (Another time I'm not on
top of it is when she goes somewhere without me, Shawn or my mom, all the while
PROMISING to check her blood sugar, and correct for it, and for her food.) But
I'd say that 95% of the time, I'm on top of it.

So now that she's 12, and thinks she's 25, our conversations go something like
this:

"Maddie- correct for your blood sugar, and bolus for 60 carbs."

{Silence}

"Maddie! Correct for your blood sugar and 60 carbs!"

"Ok."

{30 seconds go by....}

"Did you correct?"

"I'm getting ready to."

{30 more seconds go by....}

"Did you do it?"

"Mama, I'm really getting ready to!"

"Do it now."

{silence}

"Maddie, I'm waiting...."

"Ok. Correct for my blood sugar and 60 carbs" as she runs up the stairs.

"Don't forget!"

"I won't. I'm doing it now!"

Fast forward 2 hours.

"Maddie, did you correct?"

"Umm...."

"Check your blood sugar NOW!!"

At this point, she is usually very high, and you know how this story ends....

I wonder why I have to ask her to do it so MANY times, (the pump is attached to her body, so she doesn't have to go far to get it,) yet she forgets to correct. I know the years ahead are going to be hard, but I'm not sure I can handle the teenage years AND diabetes. I am trying to instill in her that SHE controls her diabetes and SHE controls her health, therefore SHE controls how she feels throughout the day.  I want her life to be "normal" and I absolutely hate that she has to deal with this stupid disease every hour of the day. 

Insurance?

I don't really understand all that is going on with this universal healthcare stuff.  I just want to vent my frustrations  for a minute or two.

Insurance is not for the sick.  It is only for the well.  When you're well, you don't shell out much money for doctor's visits and prescriptions.  You may pay an arm and a leg for your monthly premium, but that's about it.

Then there are those of us that are "sick".  We are the punishable ones.  We pay the arm, the leg, and part of the other arm for coverage for our family.  Then we have to see a specialist every other month.  That's another sky-high fee.  Then we have tons of prescriptions.  We do have co-pays for prescriptions, but it seems that each year, that fee doubles.  Multiply that co-pay by 4, and that is only part of our monthly prescription cost--it's the part that comes from the drug store pharmacy.  Then there's the crazy co-pay amounts that go to the pump company for pump supplies.  And oh yeah, they only covered 1/8 of the cost of the pump.  

That's not to mentions the Continuous Glucose Monitor that Maddie desperately needs, but guess what?  Yep, that's right.  It's not covered.  Oh well....too bad....

Ahhh....I feel much better now.  I just needed to vent a little.

Bottom line:  Some people have fancy cars, or beautiful houses, or brand new trendy clothes.  Some people go on trips to exotic places, or go to the beach every weekend.

BUT, we have an income (it's very small, but it's there--I promise) and we have insurance coverage, and a healthy child with an insulin pump.  I'll take that over shopping sprees any day!

Bravery

When Maddie had just turned 2 years old, she fell off of a bed and broke her arm.  At the time, the nurses thought it was Nursemaid's Elbow, and tried several times to put it back in place.  Nope.  It was broken, and they were further torturing my child.  Maddie endured an all-nighter in the ER, x-rays, and the putting on of, and removal of (with a saw) a cast, all around the age of 2. 

When she was 4, Maddie was diagnosed with amblyopia, which is when your vision isn't the same in both eyes, so they have to correct the "bad" eye so that your brain doesn't train itself not to use it.  My tiny little 4 year old girl had to endure a rigorous ophthalmology appointment, then get glasses (but fortunately no eye patch.....arghh), which at the time was devastating to me.  Now, not so much.

Anyhoo, Maddie has been put through the ringer as far as doctors and ailments were concerned.  She didn't visit the doctor without lots of screaming and gnashing of teeth until she was almost 4.  Fortunately, she was over that when she endured the whole diabetes thing.  But it never ceases to amaze me how brave she really is after all.

Keep in mind, her fingers are calloused from the repeated sticking to check her blood sugar.  Her backside is spotted from changing her pump site every 3 or 4 days.  She doesn't even wince when I shove a needle inside of a tiny plastic tube into her skin.  She is the bravest person I know.

Now, I've had my fair share of pain.  I've endured being smashed in a car by a Volkswagon Bus, breaking multiple bones and taking out the window with my head and elbow and leaving an 8 inch frankenstein scar down my leg.  I've broken multiple toes, I've had surgeries, and I've birthed 3 babies.  I have a high threshold for pain.  I can handle pretty much anything.

Last year, Maddie and I went to get our eyes checked.  A really good friend of mine is a CPOA at a huge ophthalmology office in town.  Because Maddie has had problems in the past with her eyes, she was a little worried about the appointment.  I knew it would be easier for her to get "checked" by Miss Lisa, than some stranger.  She got all the tests done, got drops in her eyes, and had her eyeballs poked and prodded. I could tell she was nervous, but, nonetheless, she didn't make a peep.   Then it was my turn.

I'll show Maddie how this is no big deal for me.  How she shouldn't be worried about the eye tests, or getting eye drops, or the wretched glaucoma test.  I haven't had many visits to the eye doctor, but how hard can this be?  What's a couple of puffs of air?  No biggie.....

On about the 5th try of trying to get me to keep my face in the contraption to get puffs of air in my eyes, my friend Lisa said, "We'll have to do the eye drops for the glaucoma test.  You keep moving your head before the puff of air shoots out."  I never said I didn't have a problem with anxiety.  I laughed a little, so that Maddie could see that no, it was still no big deal.

As Lisa was putting the drops in my eyes, she proceeded to tell me that they would numb my eyeballs because she was going to "tap" on my pupil with an instrument.  I don't know about you, but the thought of not being able to feel my eyeballs makes me a little woozy, not to mention the whole tapping thing with the instrument.

The next thing I remember was Lisa waking me up, trying to get me to drink a sugary drink.  Not only had I not handled my numb eyeballs, but I had passed out!  I looked over at Maddie and she was giggling.  She wasn't just giggling to herself, she was laughing at me!   

More recently, Maddie's endocrinologist nurse wanted us to try out a new lancet device.  (That's the thing that sticks your finger with a needle).  She claimed that it was supposed to hurt less, and she wanted ME to try it out to see.  I don't know what she was thinking, but whenever a sharp pointy thing goes into my skin at a high rate of speed, only to bring blood, it's going to hurt.

"Just try it, Marcie.  You'll see that it is much less painful than her regular lancet device."  Oh no.  She wants ME to stick my finger.  That's going to hurt!!!  And what makes her think I've tried the lancet device that she uses now??  Then it's going to hurt for 30 minutes and I have to act like it's not big deal.

OK, I had to put on a brave face for Maddie.  After all, she stuck her fingers every day, 6-8 times.  Surely, I'm not that much of a chicken that I can act like it doesn't hurt in front of my kid.

I brought that thing up to my shaking finger, and held my breath, ready to stick myself.  I looked over at Maddie, who was rolling her eyes, and I pressed the button.

"Ouch," I said calmly, but what I was thinking, "OOUUCCHH!!!!!".  As the nurse squeezed my finger to bring up what seemed like a gallon of blood, I was wondering if that had hurt any less than getting kicked in the stomach.  My finger was pulsing and red.  I was sweating, and feeling a little faint.  It only hurts for a second....what a crock--it was throbbing, and did for at least 20 minutes.  I don't remember what happened in the appointment after that, because I was seeing stars, and my finger was reeling in pain.

How can a person so young and so small endure this every day??  I don't know anyone braver than my girl.