The Art of Forgetfulness

 Maddie is a talented girl.  I am often amazed at the things that she knows, and is capable of doing, and doing well, at the age of 12. Among other things, she is smart, witty, and super funny. She has a hint of sarcasm, but fortunately, she only uses it in humorous situations.  Oh, and most importantly, she has an impeccable memory....when it has to do with ANYTHING besides her diabetes.  With that, she is struck with an early onset severe memory disorder. 

"Did you check your blood sugar before lunch?"

"Ooohhhh...I forgot."

"Did you correct for your spaghetti like I asked you to?"

"Oops--I forgot."

"Don't forget to correct for that snack!"

{Hours later} "Uh oh....I forgot."

"Your blood sugar is a little too high right now.  Save that candy for when it comes down."

"Aww man--I forgot!"

I thought this kind of memory loss is supposed to be saved for women after they've had children.  I understand that she hates that she has to always deal with this stupid diabetes, but I would think that it would be automatic by this point.

It's weird--she can't remember anything that has to do with diabetes and carbs and insulin, but she doesn't seem to forget where her iPod is, or how much chore money she's owed, or that last Friday I told her I would get her favorite snack at the grocery store next time I went, or that I told her she could occasionally stay up until 11pm on some school nights (whaaaat?!?) or that 5 weeks ago, I promised her that I'd take her to Aeropostale at 2:30pm next Saturday (really?).....

Should I, or Shouldn't I?

Every time I see a child who has to use the bathroom constantly, I always think, "I bet she has diabetes, and they need to get her checked....." But I'm not bold enough to go up to the parent and scare the living daylights out of them.

Although, I would have appreciated it if someone would have said, "Your daughter is almost 6 years old and wearing a size 2T. And she's wetting the bed, when she's never done that, even when she was potty training. And she drinks constantly, and goes to the bathroom constantly. And her eyes are sort of sunken in. You should probably get her checked for diabetes."

There's a little girl on Reilly's soccer team that is 4 years old, and has to go to the bathroom probably every 10 minutes. I know this because my husband coaches the team, and she'll run off the field, mid game, and have to run to the port-a-john, leaving him wondering why they are 1 kid short on the field.

Last Saturday, as I watched her go back and forth and back and forth with her mom, I almost suggested that they get her checked for diabetes. Or better yet, say, "I've got a glucometer in my purse--let me check her blood sugar, and give you a heart attack at the same time!"

But, I didn't. And for the rest of the day, I couldn't help but wonder if she really does have it, and should I have suggested it to her parents.

I mean, come on--if anyone knows the signs of high blood sugar, it's the mother of a diabetic, right? I'm not sure what to do next Saturday. I wouldn't want this family to find out in an emergency room, or get a phone call that the little girl has passed out at school. But I also don't want to blurt out, "I'LL BET SHE HAS DIABETES--AN AWFUL DISEASE THAT SHE'LL HAVE FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE--AND ALSO ONE THAT WILL MAKE YOUR LIFE VERY DIFFICULT! YOU SHOULD HAVE HER CHECKED FOR IT!"

I'm always quick to tell my friends and acquaintances what Maddie's symptoms were, just in case their child may show symptoms, and maybe they should get them checked. The sooner the better is what I believe. It's better than getting a shocking phone call, right?

Hhmmm.....what to do....what to do.....

Oh No--I'm Bleeding!!

I look tired all the time. This would be because I stay up until around 2 am, in order to check Maddie as late as I possible can, (hence the LATE night blog entries).

I do this for 2 reasons-- 1) I don't trust that the blood sugar reading before bed was on it's way up, or on it's way down, therefore causing her to crash in the middle of the night, and 2) I don't trust Maddie's pump. I spent 2 years controlling the insulin through shots, and now that I don't have to do that, I can't believe that a little $7,000 pump can figure out what my brain has been trained to do.

Anyway, every night, I go into her room and do the same routine. Every night. EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. I always scoot her skinny legs out of the way, set her meter on her little tummy, watching it rise and fall as she breathes, then I put the strip in the meter, get the lancet ready, get her ring finger (because that the one SHE uses the least throughout the day,) and then stick her and put her blood on the strip.

As I wait for the reading, which takes about 4 or 5 seconds, I'll wipe off her blood so that she doesn't accidentally get it on her bedding while she sleeps. Then I either correct her, or give her tablets, or hopefully do nothing, and leave her room.

At this point, I always go straight into my bathroom and wash my face and brush my teeth. But the funny thing is, that almost every night, I have blood on either my first finger, or my thumb, depending on which way I was balancing the meter while I was wiping off her finger. And almost every night seeing the dried blood on my hand startles me.

I don't know why I do this--I do it almost every night. I'm not afraid of blood, or anything like that, it's just that as an adult, if I'm ever bleeding, I usually know about it. But EVERY SINGLE NIGHT, it's there, and it always startles me. My first reaction is always, "Oh no! I've got blood on my hand! What have I done to myself?" Then almost immediately I realize that it's Maddie's blood, and I wash my hands.

It's become a habit that as I wash my hands, almost every night, at 2:00 in the morning, I think to myself that it's sad that I've got my daughter's blood on my hands almost every night. That should not be allowed. I shouldn't have to poke and prod my child to draw blood as she sleeps. No one should have to do that. It's just not fair. Just another reason that I hate diabetes.....

Where's My Phone??

I have to admit, I am a mom of 3 children, which means that I've lost 3x the brain cells.  I am also blond.  Not an airhead, just blond.  I was married with 2 kids before I got my first "real" cell phone.  By "real" I mean that this little sucker rules my life.  It tells me when to get up.  It tells me when to pick up my little ones from preschool.  It tells me when to take my vitamins.  It tells me when I need to call my husband and remind him to do something.  Doctors appointments, soccer practice, play dates, phone numbers, emails--it's got it all.  You name it, and I have it in my phone.  I hate to admit it, but it tells me when my favorite TV shows are on, too.  But let's just keep that one between us..... 

It also tells me to tell Maddie to check her blood at different times of the day.  I HOPE that between the two of us (and occasionally my husband, when he's home, which isn't often), one of us will remember to check it before she eats a meal, but I also want to have a hold of it between meals.  Because, as much as I love her, she's a sneaky little thing, and she tends to eat a little something here or there without telling me.

I also have programmed when I need to change her pump site.  Because let's face it, ladies.  We have a lot going on.  I like to change it after her shower at night.  Between her shower, and cleaning up the inch or two of water on the floor from my boys' baths, I need a little reminder.

If something ever happened to my phone, I would need to be admitted immediately.  If someone ever tried to steal it, I would have to say, "Here--take my wallet instead!  My whole entire life is in my phone!"  (Frankly, there isn't much in my wallet these days....but that's another story).  If I ever lost my phone, my life would be over.  If it ever fell into the ocean, I'd be diving in.  You get the picture.

I'm one of those annoying people that has my purse on the arm that's holding my 2 year old's hand, and keys and CELL PHONE in the other hand for fear that I might miss a reminder.  I even go so far as to turn the volume all the way up when I'm in a noisy restaurant.  Not because I want people to know when someone calls me, because honestly, I don't have much of a life, so no one ever calls me.  I just want to make sure that I don't miss checking Maddie's blood.   I also shutter to think of missing something important like Survivor or American Idol.....