Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My New Title

Today I got a new title.  I am now the WORST MOM EVER.

I've never claimed to be "Mother of the Year".  Yes, sometimes my kids go outside without jackets when it's cool.  And yes, I've unexpectedly noticed Maddie wearing flip-flops in the winter.  And, yes, there have been mornings when the kids go out the door without brushing their teeth.  And yes, I've been known to pick up 3 happy meals so as to not have to get out all the stuff for PB&J's.  I have arrived at church only to realize that someone wasn't wearing pants.  I do rush out the door some mornings forgetting to feed breakfast to at least one person.  Yeah, so?  Don't we all have those moments that are monumental at the time, but 15 years from now, we'll laugh about?

I don't claim to be one of those super moms who has it all together, with everyone looking immaculately clean, with brand new expensive clothes on, and every hair in place.  In fact I'm quite the opposite.  I don't know how many times I've gotten to wherever it was that I was going only to realize that no one (including myself) had brushed their hair.  I have taken my kids into Wal-Mart and thrown them in the buggy because I couldn't find one of their shoes as I was walking out the door.  "Too bad--you can ride in the buggy with the toilet paper and diapers.  Next time, don't lose your shoes!"   

But one thing that I am absolutely not, is a BAD mom.  I am also not an IRRESPONSIBLE mom.  I also think that I know quite a bit on how to take care of my chronically ill child.  Not today, though.  Today, I'm the worst mom ever..... 

It was Maddie's 9-year old check up, and I expected it to be a normal, non-eventful visit.  When they called her name, the nurse checked her height, weight, vision, and hearing, then sat her down to prick her finger.  After all of that, we presented the nurse with a fresh cup of warm morning urine, that had been sloshing around in my purse all day (of course, the cap was screwed on tight, and it was in a ziplock baggie).

Now, I am very aware of Maddie's A1C, aware of her ketones, and aware that they would find sugar in her urine, typical of a diabetic.  My first mistake was watching the nurse check her ketones.

"She doesn't have ketones, does she?"  On the ketone scale, "Trace" and "Small" are just signs that Maddie needed to drink water this morning, and that her blood sugar may have been a little high when she woke up.      
"She's right between "Trace" and "Small", but that's no big deal."  Actually, for anyone else, it is a big deal, but for Maddie, I know what it means, because I've been there and done that, and I can tell you what it means in my sleep. 

From across the crowded hallway, I hear a low and stern voice bellow out, "Trace to small? Is there sugar in her urine?"  This was one of the doctors that I was NOT seeing that day.  It's also a doctor that doesn't know me and doesn't know Maddie.

Stunned, the nurse looked up and hesitated to tell him that there was sugar in her urine.  I'm not sure what the number means exactly, but by the look on her face, I knew I was going to get flack about it.  I just didn't realize I was going to get flack about it from a man I had never met, nor had ever looked at my daughter's chart.

He walked over to Maddie and put his hand on her shoulder and told her that she needed to drink more water, and try to keep her blood sugar down.  **SARCASM ALERT**  Oh, really?  Is that what she's supposed to do??  Good, because no one had ever mentioned that to us before!!

He then started questioning ME in the hallway outside of HIS patient's room and in front of a whole bunch of nurses and patients.  "What's her A1C?  What have her blood sugars been like? How much insulin is she getting per day?" and on, and on, and on, and on......


Oh, how did I get from the pediatrician's office for a regular annual check up, to the endochrinologist's office for a lab visit?  And how did our usual sweet, quiet and FEMALE doctor turn into a humiliating MALE pediatrician/endocrinologist before my very eyes??

His last statement to me was with his finger pointed at my face.  "You need to get that blood sugar under control, and fast!"  Then as quickly as he stepped into my conversation with the nurse, he stepped into his next patient's examination room.  And he was gone.

After the nurse rolled her eyes and told me that she didn't know what his problem was, she took me and Maddie into our examination room.  What she apparently didn't realize from that confrontational conversation is that with that little finger point, he was giving me my new title. "WORST MOM EVER"

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