Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label frustration. Show all posts

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

My Love/Hate Relationship

We live very modestly.  Other people that I know have new cars, huge houses, beautiful brand new furniture, shopping sprees every weekend, and lots and lots of stuff. They send messages out on Facebook asking for references for housekeepers. They go on date nights with their spouses, hire $20/hour babysitters, go on extravagant vacations, fly here, fly there, and so on.....

Not us. Nope. We don't buy new cars.  We bought a house further out of town, that I clean BY MYSELF. I don't brag about new furniture--I brag about how long we've had our furniture.  I brag about how little I paid for my groceries, using my coupons. I almost had a panic attack when they closed the Merita Bread Store in town, so now it's back to paying $2 for a loaf of whole wheat (oh- it pains me to even type that). Thanks, Hostess {read with much sarcasm). I try to lump all of my errands together in order to save gas.  I prefer to call it "cheap chic", you know, like "shabby chic"? Except that I try to avoid the shabby part.  But I digress....

Shawn's former employer did not have great benefits, because it was a smaller "business" and medical insurance is very costly. (If you're reading this, and you know us, and you work where he used to work, I'm sorry, but you know you're paying out the nose for blah insurance, although I know it's not the "company's" fault). I considered us to have a love/hate relationship with it.  I loved and appreciated the things that the insurance DID in fact cover, but that wasn't much.  I'm honestly not sure what we were paying for with the $800 per month, other than being able to say, "Yes, I have insurance."  But whatever.....

In the spring of 2008, we got Maddie's first Medtronic Minimed. Our so-called insurance covered 20% of the $6000.00 pump. If you don't have a calculator for a brain, we paid $4800.00 for it. Now, mind you, we have 3 kids, and do not have $4800 just sitting around, so we had to finance it. Completely and thoroughly 1000% worth every penny.  It is Maddie's life-line. It's what keeps her healthy, and for that, I'm very grateful.

This pump's warranty expired April 21st of 2012. Basically, what this means is that if the pump stops working, we are up the creek without a paddle, and back to the 8 shots a day Maddie goes.  If the pump is within warranty, and the teeniest, tiniest thing happens, you'll have a brand new $6000.00 pump brought directly to your door step, or the door step of wherever you happen to be at that moment, the very next morning.  Incidentally, my sister, who also wears the Minimed and lives in NC, was skiing in Colorado a few years back.  Her pump stopped working one afternoon after skiing all day.  One phone call later, and the very next morning, they called her from the front desk of the hotel with a completely brand new pump. That's it.  Period.  Winning~

So we've been going back and forth with the so-called insurance company, with Medronic, and with the finance company to get her new pump for over 7 months.  At one point during the summer, I stopped communicating with them all, and started humbly and reverently praying that her old pump would not stop working. I guess it worked. Lo and behold, it was still working on the day we received the new one, on December 8th, 2012. (Thank you, Lord!)

Recently, Shawn got a new job, with brand new benefits, and "top of the line" medical insurance. It should not be called "medical insurance". It should be called "miracle insurance" because it does indeed perform miracles. 

I stunned my Medtronic rep (and new best friend) when I told him what insurance we had.  He called me back and was in shock. 

"You have the best insurance I've ever seen in all my years at this company."

We received the pump a few days ago.  Our miracle insurance paid for 98% (Yes, I said NINETY EIGHT PERCENT) of the $6000.00 pump, after we send in the old one for a credit. 

After 7 1/2 months of hard core prayer, and a little anxiety mixed in, hoping her pump didn't fail, she is back on track and pumpin' away.  God does perform miracles~

Sunday, February 28, 2010

The "S" Word

As adults, we find ourselves saying words that aren't really a big deal, when coming out of the mouths of adults.

"This outfit looks like crap on me" or "Shut up! That is TOO funny!" or "Trust me, I felt SO stupid!" or "Eww--I HATE anchovies!"

But as you have children, and you continue to say these "bad" words, you realize that out of all the thousands of words your child hears everyday, they will only repeat the things that you DON'T want them to repeat, and words that sound rather inappropriate coming out of a child's mouth.

I'll never forget when Maddie was in her "Terrible Two's" (before she was diagnosed) she picked up on our (incidentally, I place equal blame on my husband) use of these "bad" words, which were only ever used in a casual, non-threatening way.

"I hate my hair! Please tell me if it looks stupid!"

"Can you believe I put on 2 different socks?!? I just realized how stupid it looks. The lighting in this closet is so crappy!"

"I can't get this stupid can opener to work!!!" (Can I get an Amen on that one ladies? Does anyone REALLY have a can opener that actually works??)

Anyhoo, we learned very quickly that stupid, crap, hate, and shut up, although mostly used in jest, and not EVER used to hurt anyone's feelings, or to be mean, were words that we could not say in front of Maddie.

Fast forward 7 years and 2 more children, and still, I feel a sense of sudden regret when I slice my finger open, and let a "crap" slip, or see an advertisement for a pole dancing exercise DVD on TV, and say that it's "stupid" under my breath, only to be reminded by my 5 year old that "Ooooh--mama said a bad word!" knowing good and well that those will be the first 6 words out of his mouth when my husband gets home, or as soon as he walks into my parents' house for a visit.

Embarrassed, I always explain that while it IS a "bad" word, sometimes grown-ups use it, but not in a mean way, and when he is 35, he can use those words as much as he'd like. But not before then.

One morning recently, after we had been up all night checking blood and ketones, and eventually changing her site, Maddie and I, both VERY tired from the night before, were working on her schoolwork. The house was quiet, she was almost through, and she stopped and put her pencil down.

As we both happened to yawn at the same time, she said, "Mama, can I say a bad word?"

"Um....". What is the correct answer to that question?!?

"Just this one time while Reilly and Brendan aren't around."

Stunned, and before I could answer, she screamed, "Diabetes is STUPID, and I HATE it! It's nothing but CRAP!" And then she just looked at me, waiting fir my reaction.

After blurting out all of those obscenities, she still looked tired, but she had a slight sense of relief on her sweet little face. I have to admit, those words do sound far worse coming out of a sweet little 9 year-old, innocent mouth.

She sheepishly waited for me to scowl, or to reprimand her.

After all, she was simply stating the truth about something that we have to fight every day. Something that rules her life and interrupts everything she does. Something that NOT ONE of her friends has to deal with. Something that makes her different. Something that is unfair and tries to defeat her every minute of the day.

So obviously, I smiled wide, and proudly said, "Maddie, I couldn't agree with you more!"


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